Training-- of Dogs and Man

I'm getting a dog. I'm really stoked. To prep for this happy day, I've, of course, done my reseach. I've read about a dozen dog training books and I'm relatively well versed on all the different theories of dog training. It remains to be seen if I can apply those theories but it feels good to have an intellectual road map for what I'm about to do. It also made me realize all the mistakes I've made with my dogs in the past. Admittedly, I'm going through a fair bit of guilt now that I realized that I did not take care of my dogs the way I should. I've had to come to terms with the fact that I've been raising dogs for my emotional needs and not theirs. That's wrong. A dog is a living creature and derserves to be treated as such. It doesn't need to be spoiled like a baby but more important, I cannot deal with my emotional issues by humanizing it. Thinking about this has made me think about kids and how they are being raised here in San Francisco.

My ex-girlfriend's sister-in-law still breast feeds her 6 year old boy. Now, that's just simply disgusting. She's a doctor and apparently a very smart one so there's no telling her that she has no common sense. Her arrogance has steeled her against all who would counsel her to make better decisions because it's abundantly clear that she's breastfeeding for her own sake rather than the boy's. Even if it were true that breastfreeding at his age provides his immune system with an advantage, it's simply not worth the psychological damage it is in variably doing to the boy. God forbid if his friends find out when he's older. He'll never live it down. The will tease him unmercifully and he'll never get their respect due to no fault of his own. I'm blown away at how selfish his mother is. She has used her considerable intellectual skills to justify her desires and emotional shortcomings rather than think about what's best for the kid. That's solpsism at it's worst.

The truth is that I like this kid. He's fundamentally a good soul and very concerned with the well-being of others-- a proper tone for the man he will grow into. I remember being very sick around him once and he went out of his way on occassion to check if I was okay. It wasn't manipulative charm like it is with most kids or young girls. He stood nothing to gain from my good will. But this is why this situation makes me rather upset. This good kid is going to be ruined by his family-- mostly because they can't get out of their need to fulfill their desires at his expense. He is going to have to stand on his own two feet one day as a man. He will have to earn the respect of other men-- no mean feat. To start him off at such a disadvantage is unfair. It's far worse than growing up in a poor neighborhood or with physically abusive parents. There is dignity in overcoming those things. But overcoming late-stage breastfeeding will inspire nothing but ridicule. And no man should have to live with that.

I genuinely wish the best for this kid. I have great personal affection for him. He's clearly got athletic genes and he comes from proud family heritage. (His grandfather earned the Navy Cross by ramming his ship into a U-boat in WWII). I hope one day he desires more for himself than the coddling he is receiving. I hope that he sees that he can do more and attempts to receive a commission in the US Military. I don't say this of all little boys but I have the strange feeling he would do well there. We'll see.

But back to my dog. Yeah, I'm already spoiling him and I haven't even received him yet. He's got a mink bed and lots of toys. Expensive food and his own little area in the house. I have no problems getting him the best of doggie stuff but there's no free lunch. To those whom much is given, much is expected. This dog will have some high expectations. He will be allowed to be a dog but he's still a reflection of me. I'll let everybody know how the training goes.