The Road to Mastery

Dr. Thomas Barnett brought an interesting point in one of his books that has been kicking around my brain the last few days. He asked why America consistently produces the world's least impressive 18 year olds but somehow turns them into the world's most impressive 30-year olds. What happens during those years that allow for this dramatic change?

First, I'd like to say that I don't necessarily agree with his basic assumptions. I don't think our 18-year olds are uniformly unimpressive. Any man who has spent time with our armed forces would be hard pressed to say that those young men have not shouldered their responsibility admirably. There are different kind of 18-year olds and I've seen them both. When I was living in Hawaii, I coached water polo at my old high school. I was appalled by the childishness of my players. When I would try to hold them to a higher standard, their parents would invariably balk, saying that their progeny were just 'kids.' That's tough for me to swallow especially when I know an 18 year old Marine who was totally willing to hold a position by himself again a platoon of advancing Taliban. He didn't whimper. He didn't whine. He just asked for another bandolier of grenades.

I think young men and women live up to the responsibility forced upon them. Growth is never pleasant. Achieving maturity is always painful and no one-- ABSOLUTELY NO ONE-- gets there by choice. It has to be forced upon you either by design or circumstance. Personally, I know quite a few very impressive people in their 20's. True, they are not the norm but excellence wouldn't be excellence if it was common. I have high hopes for what these people might accomplish in the future. There is a dearth of good thinking in general and that's a huge problem in a democracy.

So in my arrogance, I'd like to offer a piece of advice to all my friends in their 20's who are striving to do more and better.

Somebody told me once that he'd never met anyone truly interesting who knew what they were going to do with their lives before they were 30. I was in my young 20's when I heard this and I didn't buy it-- chalking it up to simple agism. Like so many of those things that require experience, I see its wisdom now. And that's really the point of what I'm trying to say. Experience matters. Like the Old Spice commercial says, "If you've never had any of it, people just seem to know."

I think a person's 20's should spend all that time accruing experience. You don't need to make sense of it though practice in that area can never hurt. I'm reminded of the words of Rabbi Tarphon: "You are not required to finish the work. Nor are you free to desist from it." Instead of worrying about what you've accomplished or the good you've done in the world, just continue to work and gain experience. The important thing is to develop mastery because future employers and partners want to see that you have the discipline to achieve it. This is a hard thing for type A's to do.

I remember when I was a younger martial artist training with my aikido instructor. I kept harrassing him about what I could do to improve and he always gave me the same answer over and over. I thought he was just shining me on. Now I realize that he was giving me the actual 'secret'-- if there is any-- of achieving mastery. His secret? Concentrate on ukemi. Ukemi is the art of falling. It's the skill of rolling, falling, etc. without hurting yourself. It's valuable because it enable vigorous practice but it's difficult for the Western ego to focus on because of our forma mentis. The Japanese word 'uke' applies to a training partner who takes the fall. There's really no accurate translation in English for all that this word means but it is certainly NOT training dummy. To focus on this is hard on the ego, especially when you're a vigorous young man with a history of competition. But I trusted my instructor so I focused on it. Learning the discipline to do it right and to be a good 'uke' changed everything for me. Most importantly, it taught me to take my ego out of my performance which allowed me to make great gains in my ability. As I got better at it, my instructor and other instructors started to notice and began using me more and more to demonstrate technique. As a result, I got first hand experience of what a proper technique 'felt' like. That information was invaluable.

But this also translated into my professional life. Because I was able to separate my ego from my performance, people wanted to partner with me who would otherwise never take a chance on a young man of limited experience. I think they could see in me someone who would do what it took to accomplish the mission-- who would put the mission before himself. And I hope they could see someone on whom the experience would not be lost. And that's what all instructors want to see. As a teacher myself, I don't want to waste my time. Maybe it would be more egalitarian to treat everybody the same but I don't have the time or energy for that. I will devote my attention to those who I think will get it and the most important thing a student can do is get on my radar. Having said that, the only way to do that is to just work and hope I see your growth. If you try to impress me, I will know it and I will look down on you. Integrity is what you do when nobody else is looking. It is the best, most accurate testament to a person's character and I'm constantly searching for ways to observe my students when they don't think I'm looking.

The point of all this is to say that you have 2 choices. You can develop your forma mentis early and see all your experiences thereafter through that prism or you can accumulate as much experience as you can and then analyze it later when you have more seasoning. The key thing is to gain as much experience as you can as clearly as you can-- uncolored by politics, agenda and ego. Because if I've learned one thing in my life, it's that people see what they want to see. Rarely does that have anything to do with reality. So, to all my friends in their 20's chomping at the bit, I say: relax, settle in, put in your best work and develop mastery. Once you get there, you'll know it and more importantly, so with everybody else who has achieved it.