It's like Martial Arts!

Faith has long been an issue in my life. I speak of "Faith" with a capital "F". I've never been one with much of it in general. I need proof for everything which has made me successful in my general endeavors but woefully, catastrophically miserable in my relationships. After all, faith is the sine qua non of love. No person will ever be able to show you beyond a doubt that they love you. You just have to accept it. But that's not where I'm going here.

I've always thought of religious faith as a binary operation. You either have it or you don't. But recently, I've amended this thinking. I think religious faith is more like skill in the martial arts. Big shock, huh? People often say to me that they would like to learn one thing that will always work so they might be able to defend themselves. If that one thing existed, why would I have spent 31 years of my life studying the craft? I could have just practiced that one thing. True, I can distill practical self-defense in a couple of very basic moves but there is no way I can pass on the experience, the very judgement of how and when and to what degree to use those moves. Elegance in martial arts isn't demonstrative. It's that subtle shifting of your body that prompts your opponent not to attack or if he must, to attack you in a manner of your choosing. The fact of the matter is that I get better at fighting the more I train. To some extent, I could always fight. I wasn't one of those kids who came to the Arts because he got beat up in school. No, I wanted to fight bigger, tougher guys so I trained. I'm certainly not the fighter I was when I was 26 but I get into much less trouble now (thankfully). The point being that this is a constant struggle where my understanding changes and deepens on a daily basis. There are many epiphanies along the way but I would never say for a second that I understand all the martial arts have to offer. It's simply too rich of a subject.

I think religious faith is like that. I'm not trying to get a black belt. I just have to work and struggle and engage daily with the training so that I might find the Truth. The more I learn about the Catholics, the more I like them. Not my parishoners per se, but the priest and the parish staff-- all of whom I find to be incredibly learned.

The thing is, religious thought evolves like martial thought. It has to adapt to reality to be valid. Otherwise, we're just doing a dance. And I don't dance.