A few days ago, I had a really nice day. At the end of each martial class, I do a 15 minute debrief with Kung Fu Brothers. We talk about what we did that day, answer any lingering questions and most importantly, we talk about how martial arts have positively impacted our lives. You see, that's really my focus in teaching. I'm not talking about the nebulous benefit of having more self-confidence or focus or discipline. I ask for specifics. I want my brothers to tell me specifically how training has benefitted them. None of my current crop of students are going to be world class fighters. Not one of them has any proclivity for violence of any sort. But the often rough aspect of our class has benefitted them enormously and I'm proud to have played a part in that.
I've taught a lot of people in my life though in the past, it's always been about efficacy in combat. I was never even a little concerned about anything else the arts could impart in a person's life. As far as I was concerned, martial arts were about fighting and winning. Nothing else. Then I got injured and couldn't train anymore. I agonized for a few years about what an incredible waste of time all my previous training was. It was all useless. But then I realized something. I was dealing with my condition with a much better attitude than anybody else in my clinic. So much so that my social worker asked me to speak to the group (which I declined for fear of hubris). I owe this attitude to the martial arts. The fear I felt when confronting my new situation was no different than stepping into a life threatening situation. For this reason alone, I think everybody should practice the arts so that we may deal better with the inevitable bumps and bruises in our lives.
But to get back to my Kung Fu Brothers... Craig recently signed a major contract which has been the crowning achievement of his career so far. In doing so, he created quite a bit of work for himself in a relatively short time period. He mentioned that in the past, he would have panicked and wasted valuable time doing so. Now, he just looked at the work he had in front of him and got down to business-- enabling him to make more efficient use of his time. He mentioned that the feeling was a lot like waiting to mix it up, full contact, with one of his Kung Fu Brothers. I remember Craig said once that he used to have major anxiety for days before coming to class. One day, it just disappeared. I think it had to do with getting his ass kicked and realizing it wasn't that bad. Years ago, I told him once that certain lessons could only be learned through violence and pain. He didn't believe then but sees the truth of it now.
My other King Fu Brother ran into some financial hurdles due to the recent messiness with the stock market. He said that before he trained, he would have panicked and stressed over such an event. Now, he still felt the same rush but he had the emotional tools to deal with the same feelings more effectively. He said that he heard a voice in the back of his head telling him to get over it. He did and got on with business.
I'm not trying to take credit for their new found emotional fortitude. I didn't give it to them. If anything, I created an environment where they would feel comfortable confronting their weaknesses instead of making excuses for them. It's really clear to me that if you do not confront these issues, you cannot get past them and they will always limit your performance. The truth is they had the courage to face their demons and overcome them. They did it themselves and they are now reaping the rewards of their hard work.
What's clear to me is this. You can fake this. You have to risk something. Actually risk. If you don't really risk, you aren't really scared and then you don't get a chance to work on those issues. That's the great thing about the arts. When you're toe to toe with somebody who means to punch you in the face and kick you in the leg, you can't spin the situation. You simply have to get your act together and take care of business. Nobody cares about your excuses.
I'm grateful to have such courageous students. Sometimes, they are complete uncoordinated morons. Other times, I marvel at the courage and tenacity.