A Shameless Pitch

The other night, I went to the going away party for a friend and his family. He has since moved to Vietnam with the idea that it might be interesting and beneficial but no real plan. I applauded him for his bravery. We all had grown up in a higher socio-economic bracket meaning that none of us ever wanted for shelter or worried about where our next meal would come from while happily or unhappily ensconced in our parents' homes. It's easy for people like us to think we deserve a remarkable life. We inhabit our comfortable lives and wonder, "Is this it?" I've never felt this way. I have consistently pushed myself and taken risks and I realized that night what I given up for such a lifestyle. It is only now that my health is suspect that these people whom I've known since high school can comfortably inhabit my life. For my situation, I could not have a remarkable life and be in their community of friends at the same time.

One of my mentors said to me once, "School teaches you Xerxes invaded Greece in 480 B.C.E. but teaches you nothing about moving through change elegantly." Another one of my friends said that people just want to get to a place where they can have an opinion that makes them look smart at cocktail parties and achieves the respect of their community. They care little for what the actual truth is. Having spent a lot of time in San Francisco, I find this more true than anywhere I've ever been. People here are passionate about politics but it is the same politics. And they make the very lazy connection between morality and political belief. That is the height of socialist indoctrination. If you believe this then you are a bad person. Because that idea is something only bad people believe, I have no responsibility to explore it. Indeed, I must avoid thinking about it at all costs.

The indoctrination is so deep that otherwise intelligent and educated people have bought into it. Look, socialism leads to fascism. Conservatism leads to libertarianism. Bigger government in one direction. Smaller government in the other. What is so difficult about that to fathom?

Why is this human nature? Why do we consistently believe ideas solely because they make us feel good?

"And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow."

-Ecclesiastes 1:17-18

The Rough Stone wrote a brilliant and beautiful response to my piece on innocence. I found myself unable to argue with it. But there seems to me to be a difference between the innocence of youth and that of laziness. It seems to me that so many of my fellow Americans are innocent to the ways of the world because they designed their existence as such. Now there is certainly nothing wrong with enjoying a comfortable life. Few things are as good in life as enjoying a nice Barolo with friends. But I believe that there is a danger in believing this to be how life is. It is not.

Feigned innocence allows people to forget all that going on in the world. More importantly, it allows them to morally take themselves off the hook with superficial acts. I got into it once with a gentleman who was waxing on sanctimoniously about Darfur. He was going on and on about how much he cared about those people. I asked him what he had done to alleviate their suffering? Nothing he was forced to reply. Not one cent. Not one trip. Not one call to a NGO to volunteer, much less actually volunteer. I said that it was pretty clear he really didn't care about the folks in Darfur to which he got very offended and threatened violence foolishly. If his is the standard of caring, I can do without it.

I'll say it here. I don't really care about Darfur. I think it's tremendously unfortunate but would I risk my life or the lives of my friends without orders to go there? No way. I don't know any of those people. I save my energy for folks I actually care about. It's all well and good for George Clooney to try to generate interest in international action but people like him fail to realize that boots on the ground are the only way to fix such crises and I just don't see a vital American interest there.

And this is exactly what I'm talking about. We have people in our society regularly teaching social justice though they have no real idea what it means. They can read about this atrocity or that genocide but until they have felt actual injustice, they are merely spectators. Minorities in the US can lay some claim to understanding social justice. Women in our society as a whole, particularly in San Francisco, cannot. It is foolish to think that you're the victim of social injustice because your salary is 3000 dollars lower than your male counterpart. You are simply a bad negotiator.

But this whole thing is really just a pitch for my martial arts class. The way I see it goes like this. Most people get to a place in their lives where they have some degree of reflection skills. They can look at themselves and make a judgement somewhat close to reality. This is a fleeting moment. Most people here realize that there are a great many things they don't like about themselves but they have no idea how to change it. Since they can't change it (make themselves better) they do the next best thing. They spend their intellectual energy justifying their foibles and weaknesses. I love myself the way I am dammit! I don't blame them for this. Without a methodology, it just seems insurmountable.

But there is a methodology for change and it is the martial arts. Taught properly, it can be the bridge between what you want to be and what you are. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm far from perfect. But I hope they would also say that I'm absolutely ruthless when it comes to judging myself. I hold no one else up to the same standard I hold myself. But this doesn't make me any better. It's only because I have a map that I can fearlessly look at my flaws.

How does this work then? Quite simply. You have to make things big before you make them small. If you cannot control your body (within reason), you cannot control your mind or emotions. Dr. Humberto Maturana in his lecture series at Harvard explained that all biological organisms are closed systems. They don't react to what's outside. They react because of what's inside. Why is that useful? It proves scientifically what scholars, priests and teachers have known through the beginning of time. Through my body teach my mind. If I can teach my body to do a certain thing, my mind will follow. And the interesting thing is that it absolutely doesn't work in the other direction.

So my goals as an instructor are simple. I want every one of my students to learn how to teach themselves a new behavior and to make that behavior second nature. We do this physically first because you can't bullshit the physical but I don't want my students to stop there. I want them to apply the lessons to daily life. I want them to be fully present in the midst of the most catastrophic conflict and make the proper decisions from a composed place.

Incidentally, that's what I'm working on too.